misanthropic malapropisms

flesh smoosh

inadequate socks

Happy New Year, y'owl! One of my resolutions is to be more productive, creatively speaking (often difficult with school and work), which includes updating my blog more often. My beloved radical_jojo has been very inspiring in this endeavor by redesigning everything to fit niftily with the business cards she designed for my freelance video work, all as part of my Christmas present. She's the best.

Anyway, I'll be keeping up a more consistent internet presence in the coming year, with several exciting projects to share on the horizon. Stay tuned, yo.

Death at a Funeral is a very clever comedy produced in Britain in 2007, directed by Frank Oz. It was mostly unseen in America, though it did have a brief theatrical run and a decent little showing on DVD. Observe a trailer.


Just now, I saw this:


Now, it's not too uncommon for a foreign film to be "Americanized" in a remake a mere year or two after it finds success in its home country. Y'know, because most Americans have a low tolerance for exposure to different cultures and a compulsive need to make things our own, so it makes sense that we would translate things into our own native tongue.

But this? This is a remake of a film produced two years ago in Britain, a country that sort of invented the language we use, by an American director with several American actors (including Peter Dinklage, who reappears here, playing the same role in exactly the same way). So, why in God's name should this exist? What's the only major difference between these two versions? Oh, of course, this all-American cast is composed primarily of African-Americans. It's been "URBANIZED"! Y'know, because black people can't relate to a British comedy full of white people...they need to have it re-enacted by their own kind so that they can relate to it!

Is this not face-smashingly offensive? It's got all the why-does-this-need-to-exist pointlessness of so many Hollywood remakes (and much, much more) PLUS it's kinda pretty damn racist, just by its own existence.

...is it just me?

Disney, in honor of its campaign to get the very talented Michael Giacchino (The Incredibles, Ratatouille, Lost) an Oscar nomination for his Up score, is offering the complete soundtrack album for said best film of the year as a FREE download, TODAY ONLY. Simply enter the code "latimesdisney" right here.

In personal news, winter has attacked North Dakota with the start of December, after lying in wait and sneaking up on us, ninja-like, through an unseasonably warm November. I'm totally ready to not live here anymore. Also, I have a job interview with a restaurant today, which will hopefully mean I can finally crawl out from under the soul-crushing anvil of disrespect that is my video store job!

quacking bridge

I have, once again, left my blog neglected for far too long. The primary reason for this is school. Most of my classes, you see, are writing-based, and I have begun to slog through final papers like the theoretical thousand monkeys typing at a thousand typewriters of lore. Hurm...this simile is broken...

Anyway! My online presence is far from abandoned. Quite the opposite, in fact. Once Christmas break begins, I'll have far more time for recreational writing. I have several film projects on the horizon, including a commission to document a fashion show in April, a screen tribute to my hometown's community theater troupe, and a reality web-series about one of my friends and his fascinating existence, which is in the early stages of pre-production.

But that's not all! As a Christmas gift, my beloved radical_jojo has purchased for me a domain name, http://www.banandroidfilms.com, so that my filmworks will have a permanent home on these here interwebs. She has also designed a business card for my freelance video work and offered to help me redesign this blog. She's the best.

As for the heretofore on-hiatus "Phrase of the Day" feature, it shall make a return as well! Stay tuned for these and more exciting developments in the weeks to come!

Halloween is nearly here, so I've got a special treat in store today.  It's the legendary Nosferatu, in all its glorious entirety.  It's in the public domain, so the whole damn thing is available as one big YouTube embed.  Enjoy...I command it!



TOMORROW: "Disney Presents: The Sacred and Profane"

This collection of video horrors has yet to see any vampires (through that's soon to be corrected with a vengeance), so here's a lil' Dracula for you.  This isn't from the most iconic film representation of the Count (that would be Universal's version with Bela Lugosi...check it out, yo), but rather Francis Ford Coppola's 1992 adaptation, titled, appropriately, Bram Stoker's Dracula.

This is, quite possibly, the version most faithful to the novel (hence the author's name in the title).  It's sort of a mixed bag of a film.  There are some definite weak points (Keanu Reeves and Winona Rider's attempts at British accents, for one), but a lot of it is really great.  The casting is, for the most part, inspired (Gary Oldman as Dracula, Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing, Tom Waits as Renfield).  There are some really outstanding visuals (all the effects were done "in-camera", giving the whole thing a nice, handmade look).  And there's some nice music to be had (an appropriately gothic score from Wojceich Kilar).

Here's the film's prologue, narrated by Hopkins, with some cool visual stuff goin' on all over.


As an added bonus, here's a video sent to arcade owners in '92 to convince them to buy the licensed pinball machine based on the film.


TOMORROW: "What a Beautiful Throat!"

I recently found the wonderful 2-disc Collector's Edition of The Silence of the Lambs in the super-cheap Halloween section while shopping at Wal-Mart with JoJo. This prompted her to share with me the following musical tribute to the film, with which I had been previously unfamiliar, "Lotion" by Greenskeepers.


Incidentally, JoJo and I both planned, in advance, to make this our daily Halloween post on our respective blogs today.  We appear to have become one of those intolerably cute couples who finish each other's sentences...or, in this case, blogs.

TOMORROW: "From Transylvania Arose a Romanian Knight"

Bringing the triumvirate of Tim Curry clips to a close, here's the show-stopping duo of "The Time Warp"/'Sweet Transvestite" from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Apologies for the quality...Fox appears to be one of those studios that systematically hunt down YouTube clips of their properties.


TOMORROW: "I Think I'll Make Myself a Cap From Your Right Buttocks Cheek"

optimal owls

Our second entry in three-day Tim Curry celebration is his performance of "Anything Can Happen on Halloween", from the 1986 TV movie The Worst Witch.  Now, I've never seen it, but if the whole film keeps up the bad-80's-video-effect-per-minute rate as this number, I think I may have to.


TOMORROW: "I'll Get You a Satanic Mechanic"

Here we have something wonderful (Tim Curry) mixed with something awful (an excruciatingly creepy clown), from the 1990 TV movie based on Stephen King's It.



*shudder*

Incidentally, this is the first part in a three-day trilogy of Tim Curry clips!

TOMORROW: "Has Anybody Seen My Tambourine?"

boundless blindness

Bugs Bunny in "Transylvania 6-5000", directed by Chuck Jones.


TOMORROW: "One Balloon Not Enough For Ya?"

copulatory somersault

Between adaptations of Mary Shelley's original novel and various uses of the central monster, Frankenstein (remember, folks, that's the name of the doctor, not his creation) has had a strong presence in cinema since the beginning of the art.  The most iconic interpretation, though, is Universal Studios' classic film series, particularly the first two, 1931's Frankenstein and '35's Bride of Frankenstein, directed by James Whale and starring Boris Karloff.

I've always been extremely fond of these two movies, preferring the sequel over the original.  Bride has many elements lacking in the first film: humor (it almost plays as a black comedy), music (Franz Waxman's work on Bride is one of the earliest examples of an orchestral score composed specifically for a feature film), and, most importantly, Dr. Septimus Pretorius.

Ernest Thesinger's performance as Pretorius tops Colin Clive's already over-the-top performance as Dr. Frankenstein.  Thesinger devours the scenery as the flamboyant mad scientist who tempts Frankenstein back to the forbidden prospect of creating life.  It's plain to see why many critics interpret Bride as a metaphor for James Whale's life as a homosexual outsider on the fringes of 1930's Hollywood.  Whale did, in fact, take a very personal interest in the film.  He was not in the least bit interested in doing a sequel to Frankenstein, but Universal, desperate for a follow-up, offered him complete creative control.  Unfortunately, the final cut is not precisely Whale's original vision.  After early test screenings, the studio cut nearly thirty minutes out of the film, eliminating some of the darker undertones, reducing the body count from 21 to 10, and wrapping up with a happier ending.

Still, Bride of Frankenstein is a masterpiece of Gothic cinema.  If you are going to choose one Frankenstein film to watch this Halloween, make it this one.  Need an example of why Pretorius is a highlight?  Here's his first meeting with the Baron.


TOMORROW: "You Wouldn't Hit a Bat With Glasses, Would You?"